Saturday, February 16, 2013

Easter Holidays 1994 (19 years ago...)

(I originally wrote this 4 years ago. Seems fitting to revisit this post as Easter is approaching yet again.) 

Easter Holidays 1994 (19 years ago...)
We never really went far for vacations as a family growing up, most summers we never went anywhere. But for Easter holidays 1994 Mom and Dad made up for it by taking us on a trip through the states to California. We were like the Griswold's from "National Lampoons Vacation", we were going to Disneyland by car.

- Mom and Dad rented a car for the long trip. They also rented a video camera from Radioshack and I became the official documentary guy of our little trip.

- Driving seemed like a good idea, that way we could see more destinations. We could visit multiple states along the way. The truth is it nearly drove us insane. Mom and Dad would argue over driving and directions. Brianna would get bored and pinch me on the arm when I wasn't looking. I would get her back and return the pinch and she would cry. Dad would get mad at me. Mom would threaten to turn the car around. We would spend up to 12 hours a day travelling by car- way too much time to spend in a confined space with bored family members.

- We often would eat at fast food chains as we drove, to save time. One thing I noticed about fast food restaurants in the states is that their food is way better than our fast food in Canada. We often ate at Burger king and it was awesome. We would order whopper meals and Mom, Dad and Bri could never finish their meals. It was too much...for them. At the time I was a 14 year old garbage disposal and I would clean up their left overs. But it wasn't always easy and I actually at times turned away their left overs because I was full from my meal. Those Yankee fast food restaurant owners don't cheap out when it comes to their food. You definitely get your moneys worth.

- Speaking of food the night we stopped in Salt Lake City we went to the nearby "Denny's" for supper. While having supper some woman crashed her car into a lamp post between the Denny's and our hotel. It was the first time I had ever seen a fresh car crash. The fire department showed up and had to use the jaws of life to free her, and she was taken away by ambulance.

- Driving through the desert sucked. People talk about how great the desert is but it sucks. Its dry and theres really nothing to see for hundreds of miles. Its like driving through Saskatchewan, just absolutely boring. To make matters worse the a/c was giving Mom bad headaches so we had to drive without it on. I felt like a rotisserie chicken sitting in that car.

- Las Vegas, now that was a cool place to visit. They had just finished building the Luxor and MGM Grand so we went and checked them out. Brianna and I had a blast playing in "Sega land" at the Luxor. I got in trouble with Luxor security for video taping the casino, thankfully they didn't take my tape away. Mom was playing a slot machine when all of a sudden all these bells and whistles and lights went off. Mom began to back away from the machine cause she thought she did something wrong but she in fact won. I think it was 80 bucks in quarters.

- We stayed at the Hacienda hotel, which is now gone. It was a great hotel and it had the biggest buffet I have ever seen. But as fate would have it I was under the weather that night and couldn't eat much, damn it !!!

- The family packed into a cab and we got to go for a ride up and down the Las Vegas strip. It was incredible and truly something everyone should see in their life. I recorded the cab ride with the rental video camera. Unfortunately I re-wound the tape so we could watch it in our room but there was security features on the TV that prevented me from hooking the camera up to it. The next day I recorded over the whole Vegas strip tour because I forgot I re-wound the tape. OOPS.

- We went to Los Angeles next. I couldn't believe just how many lanes of traffic there were coming into Los Angeles, and of course we arrived during rush hour. I actually saw a couple Mexican guys driving a low rider car with shag carpet all over the interior. I wanted to say: "Hey Cheech, pass me a joint holmes", probably a good thing I didn't.

- We spent a day at Disneyland the day after arriving in Anaheim. It really is a great experience to visit Disneyland. It really does bring out the kid in everyone. My Dad is not known for having fun unless it involves golf, hockey or some other kind of sport. When we got there he was kind of in a grumpy mood but after about a half hour of being in Disneyland he was laughing, smiling and having a great time. It really did bring out my Dad's inner child. It was really great to see my Dad let loose and have a good time.

- The lines for rides is what dampers the good time at Disneyland. For some rides we stood in line for up to an hour! It was worth it most of the time but it made for a long boring wait.

(Parental Advisory Warning: The following paragraph has adult content. Parental discretion is advised):
- But waiting in line for space mountain was totally worth it. Not for the ride itself but for what I saw while waiting. We're outside on the steep steps leading into space mountain. The line was long and the day was hot. Dad and I were standing side by side in line and Mom & Bri were behind us. In front of us was this ugly nerdy-type guy with this real smoking hot blond woman on his arm. This guy had to be loaded because there is no way a guy that ugly could get such a hot babe unless he was rich. If he was famous I didn't recognize him. Anyway I was busy staring at the ground below (because we were probably 3 stories above ground level) when the line advanced. As I looked forward realizing the line had moved up several steps the smoking hot blond (who was wearing a very mini skirt) was bent forward tieing her shoe I think. Well her skirt was hiked up and she was wearing NO UNDERWEAR ! I gasped in excitement and joy, staring me right in the face was a real life naked vagina, which was on the body of one of the hottest women I had ever seen. I was frozen in time, my heart pounding and thoughts racing. I couldn't believe was like looking into the face of god. Dad bumped me on the shoulder and time resumed normally again. I looked at him and he had a smile on his face.
"We better move up" I think he said to me.
I don't know if he saw what I saw. God bless Space mountain.

- We spent a day in Tijuana Mexico. It was cool travelling to yet another country but what an eye opener it was. The shops were cool to visit and Dad was wheeling and dealing with the shop owners getting what he wanted at the best prices. But it was sad to see all the kids on the street trying to sell gum and other things to support their families. This one old lady came up to me and wanted to sell me a pack of gum. I felt sorry for her and gave her a dollar for a pack of gum, when she only asked for a quarter. After she walked away I was surrounded by gum kids trying to sell to me. It was very sad and made me thankful to be from Canada.

- We also spent a day at Universal studios. On our Universal tour Weird Al Yankovic was on it with us and we got to meet him. Brianna got his autograph and her picture taken with him. I stood there amazed to be near this celebrity who I admired. I was also amazed by the smoking hot blond he had with him.

- Overall it was a great trip. Definitely one I will always remember.

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