Goodbye TV Dad and good riddance

So this week Bill Cosby was found guilty of sexual assault on women with many more lining up to testify against him if necessary. My question is why? Why did he drug and assault these women? I understand being a man and wanting to have some fun but why drugs? Why assault? He is rich enough I’m sure he could have hired some high end prostitutes where ever and whenever he needed so why drug women and assault them? The simple answer would seem to be he is a monster. Only monsters assault and drug people for their own selfish desires so clearly he is one. And like all monsters he deserves to be locked away forever.

This realization makes me sad. Like most kids raised in the 80’s watching ‘The Cosby Show’ was a weekly event. And when his show became syndicated it became daily viewing. Bill Cosby as ‘Cliff Huxtable’ was the dad everyone would want. He was loving, funny, reliable, goofy, wise and forever patient with his kids. He not only was a great dad he was also a great doctor. Also Cosby hosted ‘Kids say the darndest things’ and Jello commercials, he produced ‘Fat Albert’ and starred in the film ‘Leonard Part 6’ (which I loved as a kid) and so on. So Bill Cosby was always there in my life….now he’s gone and good riddance to him.

Buddhism and me

(Continuing from my last post 'Where is God'?)

Now don't get me wrong I do believe in heaven. The universe is so complex and fascinating that there has to be something else when we die, there just has to be. We do not simply blink out of existence. Maybe God created the earth and gave us it and decided to leave us to our own devices; live and learn. Maybe he (or she) decided long ago to cut us loose, let us live and learn from our mistakes in life, have our lives be what makes us into the people we are for heaven. If that is the case then maybe God simply cannot pick and choose when to interfere, when to strike those down who deserve it, when to make his (or her) presence known.

When I met with my pastor for the first time he asked me if I thought I would be going to heaven when I died. I answered yes. he was a bit surprised that I was so sure as most people answer that question by saying "I don't know". I explained that once in 1997 a few months after my Grandpa passed away he came to me in a dream. This was no ordinary dream; I cannot relate into words why I feel this one was different it just was. I knew then that my Grandpa had saw my sorrow and guilt from heaven and he came to me to show me he was fine, and to tell me that he loved me. I awoke from that dream and cried and felt better than I had in months. So if my Grandpa was somewhere else after death he had to be in heaven. He was a great man and did good in his life; he was also quietly Christian and kept his beliefs to himself (I later found out), so the only logical conclusion is that he was in heaven. So if I live my life like he did I will be there too when my time comes. I don't know if my Pastor completely agreed with my analysis but it is what it is and no one can change my mind about that. But what if there was another explanation...

So after my Uncles death and my daughters statement about God I decided to study other faiths and see if I could find an answer. So I came to study Buddhism. Buddhism does not deal with heaven or God, and is more of a belief system than a religion. Buddhism deals with karma and reincarnation. If you do good in this world and create good karma you will be rewarded in this life or the next. And reincarnation means that when our journey ends in this life we will have another one. And if we create good karma in this life we will enjoy a good life in the next. But if we create bad karma in this life or a previous one it will affect us later in this life or the next. So in that theory if we die young in this life it could mean that karma has dictated that. Maybe the reason why someone dies unexpectedly is because they did something bad in this life or previous lives. For example: Maybe a man who dies suddenly at the age of 40, but was for all intents and purposes a good person, died because he took a life in a previous life. Maybe he was a solider fighting in a war in another life and because he killed a 40 year old man then he will die in this life as a 40 year old. Its karma coming full circle. But because he was a good man in this life he will live a full life in the next.

I honestly don't know what to believe. I call myself a Buddhist Christian because I believe in certain aspects of both but cannot commit fully to either. One day I will find out for myself, just hopefully not anytime soon.

Where is God?

A few years ago I had a spiritual awakening. I wanted to learn about God, Jesus, The Bible, the Holy Spirit, all of that. I went to a number of churches and became a regular at one in particular. My church family was very welcoming, friendly and kind. I learned quite a bit during this time and began studying the Bible. I learned a lot and feel like a better person for having devoted so much of my time to this; I even started a short lived podcast called ‘Faith & the Good Words’. In church and from reading the bible we learn it is our duty as Christians to use our talent to spread the work of God and his son Jesus Christ. Since I was a somewhat accomplished podcaster it seemed natural to me to use my talents to spread the word.

 

But as time went on and I continued to see the evil in the world on the news; then my Uncle died suddenly. He was a great man and only 61 years old; it just wasn’t supposed to happen. Then my young daughter told me she no longer wanted to go to church. When I asked her why she told me “Why would God let a good man like Uncle die when there are so many bad people in the world who get to live?” And I had no answer for her.

 

Why do good people die and evil ones live? Why does god create creatures that can kill us? Why are there child rapists? Why are there rapists? Why do people starve in this world when there is enough food for everyone? Why do the rich get richer and the poor stay poor?

Where is god in all of this? Is life but a test to qualify for heaven?

Thoughts on Tipping

I worked as a waiter in grade 10. It started as a work experience position for high school credits but they were so impressed with me I was offered weekend hours. This was in my hometown of Fort Assiniboine and being a 'waiter' rather than a 'waitress' was not common back then in small town Alberta. This was the school year of 1995-1996 and the only time I remember seeing a waiter was in Edmonton restaurants, so I like to think of myself as a bit of a trailblazer. The restaurant I worked at was located at the old Fort Assiniboine hotel, which burned down in the summer of 1998.

Back then I was lucky to get a dollar or two as a tip. Food was cheaper back then but I also know some of the rig guys refused to tip me because I was a man. Rig guys will tip a bad waitress if she's flirty and shows off her assets but a good reliable waiter gets almost nothing from them; that's just the way it was. But at the end of the day I was proud of the tips I earned.

Now fast forward over twenty years; I have been out of the service industry since 1996 but I do frequent restaurants. Not just because I am not a good cook but I am also kinda lazy when it comes to cooking but whatever I can afford it. I do my best to tip as I know its part of the service industry. But I have a few stipulations:

1- Service has to be good (I'm not expecting to be waited on hand and foot but I do expect my refills and asking "Do you need anything" from time to time)

2- A positive attitude towards me and my family (I don't expect cart wheels or an ear to ear smile but a nice friendly attitude)

If the service is poor, the attitude bad I will not tip or tip at a lower level than I would have normally. I generally as a rule tip at 10%. I know some people say it should be 15% now but a 10% tip is fair I think for service. For example a meal out with my growing family of 5 is between $60-$90 typically, so I would leave a $6 tip to $9 depending on the actual meal, and I typically round up. So on a $63 dollar tab I would leave $7 for a tip.

Now Monday night we had supper at Westlock BP's and it was a $90 tab. But our waitress was less then impressive. She took our orders, brought us our drinks then nothing. It was other waitresses who brought us our food, I'm assuming ours was on a break. We ate our food and she did not come back. it wasn't until another waitress saw me looking around the room for our waitress did she get alerted and returned to our table. We only left a $5 tip, and when we paid for our food she said nothing to us, no "Have a nice day" or "How was your meal?", nothing. I think she noticed the $5 tip and was not happy with it. But I am sorry she was terrible and the fact we left anything was an act of kindness on our part as far as I'm concerned.

Follow my 2 small stipulations to good service and you will get a 10% tip guaranteed.